Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I wish with all my heart that I were not writing this and that I did not have the news I now bring to you. Although to you this news is of little personal consequence.

I do not recall a time in my life where my walk with Jesus has been as faithful and as filling as now, but it seems whenever we find ourselves in that position, God, who ordains all things, brings trials into our lives to show us our sinfulness and His mercy, thereby sanctifying us. The trial I am facing - that my family is facing - seems overwhelming. My older sister, Erica, who I deeply love, is turning her back on Jesus and the Gospel of salvation, which she knows to be true, and choosing to pursue her sin. It breaks my heart.

I know in all things that God is sovereign and that He is good to his children and will not let them fall out of His hands. That brings me comfort. What disturbs me is that I do not know if Erica is a child of God or not. She is either a believer who is so steeped in sin that she sees no way out or an unbeliever who has been playing the part. I hope for the former, but am afraid the latter is true. I do not want her to be a vessel of wrath to destruction, but a vessel of God's mercy.

Erica needs to see that sin has consequences. She left Tulsa today without the financial safety net of our parents. My parents have decided, after seeking counsel, to quit supporting her financially as long as she is unrepentant. I support them in their decision. My only fear is that Erica become bitter and turn to Adam, the guy she looks to for fulfilment, for her needs financially as well as emotionally, etc. That would be bad. She needs Jesus and only Jesus.

Erica is angry. Saturday night we talked with her as a family. We presented the gospel to her over and over again. She was unresponsive. It is the Lord who changes hearts. She says that she has no desire for the things of God. She does not think she will ever go to church again. She does not want us to talk to her about anything God related. Erica's heart is hard.

Pray that she see the seriousness of her sin and the mercy of Christ.
Pray that the Lord would soften her heart to the gospel.
Pray that my family and I would love her with the same love that Christ has for us.
Pray for my parents that they would not struggle with feeling like they failed at parenting.
Pray for me that the Holy Spirit would give me words to say to her. I don't know what to do except pray.
Pray that she repent.

"But for the Grace of God, there go I."

X,
Daniel